criminals are stupid

well except for maybe the white collar kind who have JDs and MBAs. but even they are probably stupid beyond IQ.

they caught my burglar. i'm estatic only in the fact that he's currently in jail and will hopefully be there until i move. i'm not estatic because i have to testify AND i still probably will not get my stuff back. but they caught him, and they were able to link them back to me which gives me some satisfaction because clearly he is stupid and at least this time around law enforcement is doing its job. this makes up for the lack of job doing they did when my car was smashed up.

here's the story:

at eat and park with greg and maria on friday night. get phone call from cop. cop asks me if i lost any mail. i honestly do not know being that i'm the worst person at keeping track of paper records. why is everything not online anyway? cop asks me if i deal with state farm and indeed i do and would not deal with any one else when it comes to matters of my car. asks me if i am from wisconsin. well yes, yes as a matter of fact i am. oh stupid stupid man held onto my insurance statement for reasons i do not know (unless he got wind of the fact that my parents living in wisconsin are secret millionaires and planned to go pay them a visit). turns out that they caught said perp in the act of burglarizing yet another residence and got a search warrant for his house. now i have to say that seems a little bit ironic in a way. dude enters others' homes and takes stuff and now cops enter his home but must get permission first. so they enter with their badass warrant in a way that in my mind i'm going to believe was like some mad bust in law and order because it makes the whole thing seem so glamourous. they enter his house and they find this random statement. and at first i'm sure they are like "who the hell is this chick, she must be in on it. to wisconsin we go!" but then my cop says "hey guys, wait just one sec, that's one of my victims. ahoy, we've linked more crimes to the perp!" and he calls me. he said, and this is a direct quote which i love, he said, "this opens up a whole new can of worms." how awesome is that? because dumbass criminal takes my old school bookbag with an insurance statement that my mom presented me with while i was visiting them in florida and because he doesn't believe in using a trash can like normal people the cops have now linked him to my neighborhood and who knows how many other crimes there. see what i mean? stupid. not that i'm complaining.

turns out that yes, there have been quite a few of the same sorts of crimes in my neighborhood in recent weeks including 2 successfull and one attempted burglary just in my building of six apartments. but then mr. cop tells me that once they get more information they will be calling me back because i need to testify that my stuff was taken. he also said that they were looking into where he sold my computer. but what i am most interested in is how much he got for my computer so i can point and laugh and be like, man way to waste your time hitting my apartment because not only did you get like .02 for a six year old computer with 12 GB of space running 98 but you also got yourself more time because you hung on to my insurance statement (sentimental value?). i have no more to say to you except go smoke your crack somewhere else.